DAWG: Wake up. I’m hungry.
ME: Ok. I’m getting up.
DAWG: Let me out. I gotta pee.
ME: Ok. Give me a second.
DAWG: Where’s my food?
ME: I can’t open the door and make food - which do you want first?
DAWG: Pee. No food. No pee. No food. No …
ME: The door’s open. Go on out. I will make your food.
DAWG: [with scornful look] It better be ready when I get back.
ME: It will
ME: [Makes dog’s food. Goes out and calls to dog.] Dawg! C’mon, boy. Your food is ready.
DAWG: I will be there in a minute. I gotta sniff everything first.
ME: I ain’t holding this door open all damn day. You best get on in here and eat if you are hungry.
DAWG: Alright grumpy, I’m coming.
ME: [Sighs. Goes to computer to release this morning’s post.]
DAWG: [Rambles into office]. I’m done eating. Let me out again.
ME: Give me a minute.
DAWG: Now!
ME: Just a second.
DAWG: No! Now!
ME: Ugh. [Rises and goes to door]
DAWG: [Runs to fence.] Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! . . . . Bark! Bark!
ME: Ya, basta! It’s too early for that.
DAWG: [Another scornful look] Who the hell do you think you are? Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!
ME: Back inside!
DAWG: [Runs back into the house. Sits pretty in kitchen.] Where’s my treat?
ME: [Shakes head] Ric will be up shortly.