• mariokiefer

Sock Monkey Shops Local

Needing an item from a business products store, Sock Monkey had been on his best behavior all week long. He knew that if he was not, he would be unable to convince his guardians to give him a ride.


On that Saturday, they entered the death race that is otherwise known as Ranch Road 620. Since it was nearing lunch time, they determined to stop for a bite to eat before they went to the store.


During the course of their three mile drive to the restaurant, Sock Monkey watched two cars run red lights. Another car pulled out from a parking lot and into the middle lane. The driver clearly wanted to turn left and when he did so, he crossed oncoming traffic causing another driver to slam his brakes. Two other drivers decided at the last minute that they needed to cross two lanes of traffic in order to make their turn at the next light. Sock Monkey marveled at the stupidity of humans. Back in his homeland, he had often swung from tree to tree but never with such disregard to basic safety protocols. Did these humans not realize that two objects of equal mass cannot occupy the same space at the same time? It was simple physics, after all, and even his Simian brain could grasp that concept.


They pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, but all of the spaces were filled. The continued growth in the area made it harder and harder to find parking no matter where they went. After driving around, Sock Monkey’s guardians finally found a spot, parked and the trio entered the restaurant only to find that it was overcrowded with no seating. The wait would be twenty minutes. Instead, they left and drove to a fast food restaurant hoping for quicker service, but the line was out the door. In the end, they decided to skip lunch altogether.

They drove to their intended destination - again via the 620 death trap - until they entered the parking lot. The only space available was at the far end of that lot, so they took the spot, and made the walk to the store passing four retailers that did not carry anything that they were interested in.


After searching the store, Sock Monkey found the item he sought. There was a tag on the item instructing the customer to take it to the cashier who would retrieve the item from the back. They waited ten minutes in line. The cashier then asked them to step aside before ringing-up the purchase, whilst another staff member retrieved the item. Ten minutes later, they were told that the item was not in stock, but that they could purchase it and pick it up in three or four days,or, for an additional fee, have it delivered to their home.


Sock Monkey said, “No; thank you” and left.


They took the death trap back to their house, dodging drivers who texted on their phones, teenagers who thought they were racing the Formula 1, and older drivers who thought that the proper speed limit in a 50 mph zone was 30.


Two hours. It was two hours from the time Sock Monkey left his home in Old Lakeway to the time that he returned. Two hours wherein he did not get the lunch he craved nor the product he wanted. Two hours of his day wasted away in unnecessary travel.


At home he ordered his item online and scheduled convenient delivery for the next day.


When later someone admonished him for not shopping locally, he looked at them with bored disdain.

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