And this is why I drink . . .

RIC: How do you spell spaghetti?

ME: s-p-a-g-h-e-t-t-i

RIC: Nope.

ME: What do you mean, “Nope”?

RIC: That’s not how it’s spelled.

ME: Yes it is. Look it up.

RIC: No - that’s now how you spell it.

ME: Well, how do YOU spell spaghetti?

RIC: S-u-n-d-a-y.

ME: Open the wine.