MARIO KIEFER

Being an asshole isn’t the virtue that some seem to think it is. #SundayTruth

Whenever I hear someone say, “I deserve it,” I have to ask, “Why? What did you do to earn it?” You only deserve what you earn. #SundayTruth

If you don’t want it repeated, don’t say it out loud. #SundayTruth

If something is free, it’s worth every penny you paid for it. #SundayTruth

Rusty hammers can still nail wood. #SundayTruth

If you want to capture someone’s attention, whisper. #SundayTruth

To have no regrets means you have not lived. #SundayTruth

You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. So, dammit just do it. #SundayTruth

When you poke the bear, sometimes it pokes back. #SundayTruth

Look, at the end of every conversation you know you always say those same three words, so you might as well say them at the start to save a lot of time, trouble, and aggravation. Come on, say them with me, now: Mario, you’re right. #SundayTruth

It’s not always somebody else’s fault. #SundayTruth

Having money in the account doesn’t mean you must spend it. #SundayTruth

Fascism is as fascism does. #SundayTruth

Only fools chase fool’s gold. #SundayTruth

When someone says “Maybe”, they mean “No”. #SundayTruth

Fifty percent of statistics are made up. #SundayTruth

Eventually, everyone is on the list. #SundayTruth

Tailgate me all you like, but it won’t make the slower cars in front of me move any faster. #SundayTruth

It’s make your daddy grill day! #SundayTruth

“Some Assembly Required” is just a warning that you are about to have a fight with your spouse. #SundayTruth