MARIO KIEFER

When you poke the bear, sometimes it pokes back. #SundayTruth

Look, at the end of every conversation you know you always say those same three words, so you might as well say them at the start to save a lot of time, trouble, and aggravation. Come on, say them with me, now: Mario, you’re right.    #SundayTruth

It’s not always somebody else’s fault. #SundayTruth

Having money in the account doesn’t mean you must spend it. #SundayTruth

Fascism is as fascism does. #SundayTruth

Only fools chase fool’s gold. #SundayTruth

When someone says “Maybe”, they mean “No”. #SundayTruth

Fifty percent of statistics are made up. #SundayTruth

Eventually, everyone is on the list. #SundayTruth

Tailgate me all you like, but it won’t make the slower cars in front of me move any faster. #SundayTruth

It’s make your daddy grill day! #SundayTruth

“Some Assembly Required” is just a warning that you are about to have a fight with your spouse. #SundayTruth

If there are more than 4 people at the gathering, it’s a party. #SundayTruth

Forgive me Father, I have sinned. It’s been a 1 week since my last confession. I hung missing posters around town in search of my lost...

Yes; we have forgotten. #SundayTruth

To all those who ever have called me a “mother”, now is the time to put up or shut up. #SundayTruth

Saying intellectual curiosity is redundant - all curiosity is intellectual. #SundayTruth

You can’t complain that your man is cheating with someone else when that someone else is his wife. #SundayTruth

No, Karen, being “on-the-clock” from 9-5 does not mean that you worked all day. #SundayTruth

Anything you get for free is worth every penny you paid for it. #SundayTruth