MARIO KIEFER

If you love something, set it free. It never belonged to you in the first place. #SundayTruth

Alcohol is better than vinegar for getting pickled. #SundayTruth

I am not certain of much, but I am certain of this — only fools proclaim their certainty. #SundayTruth

Time waits for no man. But if a woman is getting ready for a party, it stands still. (If it knows what’s good for it, anyway.) #SundayTruth

Whatever one believes, we should believe that we can rise. #SundayTruth

No matter how much you get, it will never enough sleep. #SundayTruth

Hard candies are just a way of drinking flavored spit. #SundayTruth

Nobody is above reproach. #SundayTruth

If you have no regrets then you have never lived. #SundayTruth

Nothing in life is free. When people say that something is “free” what they mean is that it was paid for by someone else. #SundayTruth

Bacon is God’s way of saying, “I love you.” #SundayTruth

If you pay someone for sex, it’s called solicitation of prostitution and is illegal, unless you do it on film. Then it’s called “art”....

Never listen to anyone who says that they will do it tomorrow, because “tomorrow” never comes. #SundayTruth

Loving someone to death is still homicide. #SundayTruth

Dried pasta is just as good as fresh. #SundayTruth

Trust me when I tell you that it’s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye. #SundayTruth

Many seem to have forgotten that it is the job of the Supreme Court to determine whether a law is Constitutional — not whether it is...

You are not as special as you think you are. #SundayTruth

Write it down. No matter how many times you say you will, you won’t remember. #SundayTruth

Telephone phone trees prove that The Matrix exists. #SundayTruth