ME: I’m in the mood for ice cream. YOU: Ice cream is bad for you. You really shouldn’t eat it. ME: Thank you for your thoughts. #PetPeeve...
I don’t think that I can ever order pizza delivery again. I keep seeing these advertisements about contactless delivery due to COVID. In ...
When people say, “Get woke!” I say, “Learn grammar.” #PetPeeveThursday
I went to a restaurant and when I bit down on the fork, its tines were crooked. #PetPeeveThursday
Every advertisement that says, “We’re in this together.” #PetPeeveThursday
If you rang the doorbell, you really don’t need to knock on the door, too. #PetPeeveThursday
If you need to take your pet chicken with you everywhere you go, you probably shouldn’t be going anywhere. #PetPeeveThursday
COWORKER: If you have to live in Texas, then the only good place to live is Austin. ME: Have you ever been to Texas? COWORKER: No. #PetPe...
All morning long your mouth has been salivating at the thought of eating those leftovers from the other night; the ones you had been savi...
I don’t have time for all of these impatient people! #PetPeeveThursday
The clerk who cannot make change if the register doesn’t tell him how much to give back. #PetPeeveThursday
I keep seeing these memes on the internet that say nurses and doctors are heroes, grocery store clerks and truckers are heroes, people wo...
“I can’t tell you, but if you guess . . .” #PetPeeveThursday
When the meal option costs less than buying the sandwich and fries without the soda. #PetPeeveThursday
Don’t ask me what’s happening in the movie if you were too busy talking to watch. #PetPeeveThursday
When there is snow on the ground in Central Texas. #PetPeeveThursday
Person A: Would you rather do x or y? What time? Person B: Yes. Please respond to the question! #PetPeeveThursday
People who say: “I only say this because, as your friend, I’m worried about your health.” Yeah, right. #PetPeeveThursday
Waiting behind another at the stop light for him to finish sending his text before he drives through. Get off the damned phone! #PetPeeve...