MARIO KIEFER

It's like Mama always said: If you don’t what you’re saying, don’t speak. #MamaSaid

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . ME: Why aren’t you playing with your new toy? Don’t you like it? DOG:  It’s alright, but . . . ME: But what? It was not cheap. I thought you would love it. DOG: I do love it, but . . . ME: But what? It’s tough — hard to rip through. There’s none of that stuffing that you pull out and leave everywhere. It has a squeaker. It . . . DOG: That’s the problem. ME: I’m sorry. I don’t understand. DOG: It’s hard to rip open and there is no stuffing for me play w

The mob cries out for democracy But really wanting ocholcracy Through protest in violence And demand your compliance In full view, they display their hypocrisy #Limerick

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Each time the aliens are meant to invade, I am out of town. #Outrage