I am not usually a supporter of cruel and unusual punishments, but in this case, I will make an exception for the inventor of this.
__________________________
RING RING RING
Thank you for calling [INSERT NAME HERE]. For Spanish, please press five or stay on the line.
[WAITING]
Are you calling about the account associated with this number? Please say yes or no.
[YES]
I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Are you calling about the account associated with this number? Please say yes or no.
[YES]
Now, in a few words, tell me what you are calling about.
[TECHNICAL SUPPORT]
I’m sorry. I didn’t get that. In a few words, tell me what you are calling about.
[TECHNICAL SUPPORT]
You are calling about changing your service?
[NO]
Now, in a few words, tell me what you are calling about.
[TECHNICAL SUPPORT]
I’m sorry. I didn’t get that. In a few words, tell me what you are calling about.
[TECHNICAL SUPPORT]
You are calling about changing your bill?
[NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. JUST GIVE ME A PERSON]
I’m sorry. I didn’t get that. In a few words, tell me what you are calling about.
[CUSTOMER SERVICE PERSON LIVE PEOPLE I KNOW THEY STILL EXIST SOMEWHERE!]
Are you calling about your bill?
[NOOOOOOOOOO. {FRANTICALLY PUSHING BUTTONS ON THE PHONE}]
Ok. Please hold on. I will put a customer support specialist on the line.
We are experiencing a larger than normal volume of calls. Estimated wait time is between 5 and 20 minutes. We can call you back and you will not lose you place in line. Press 2 to receive a call back.
[I WILL WAIT. I DON’T WANT A CALL BACK]
Press 2 to receive a call back.
[NO. I DON’T WANT THAT. I WILL WAIT]
Press 2 to receive a call back.
[I DO NOT WANT A CALL BACK]
Okay. We will call you back in 5 - 20 minutes.
[NOOOOOOOOO]
Goodbye {sound of phone hanging up}
________________________________________
Comments