Hell On Earth

RIC: When’s dinner?

ME: We have all those leftovers from lunch.

RIC: That was lunch.

ME: And there’s tons of food still to be eaten.

RIC: You know that I don’t like leftovers.

ME: [In my mother’s voice] There are starving children across the world. We are not throwing that out.

RIC: Then ship it to them. It’s Sunday.

ME: I am not cooking something new. [Switching to my mother’s voice again..] You can eat what I have already made or you eat nothing at all.

RIC: You know what I want.

ME: [Again, in my mother’s voice] People in hell want iced water and they ain’t getting it either.

RIC: Hell is gonna be here if I don’t get my spaghetti.

ME: [Throwing hands in the air and shaking head] Fine. Open the wine.