• mariokiefer

And this is why I drink . . .


The new refrigerator arrived and was installed last week. The new Keurig arrived as well. I connected the water to the Keurig and fixed the leaky valve myself. (That’s right, you heard me, I did NOT call the handyman to do it. See, I can do things. I just don’t want to.) With the new dishwasher, fridge, and Keurig, I realized that I had to clean out the pantry, the coffee cabinet, and the paper cabinet. Today, I tackled the pantry . . .


ME: Why do we have three open bottles of sesame oil?

RIC: Because I didn’t know if we had any the last time I needed it, so I bought another.


ME: And now we have three opened ones. Tell me, why do we have four bottles of red wine vinegar?

RIC: Because I didn’t know if we had any the last time I needed it, so I bought another.


ME: And now we have four opened ones. Tell me, why do we have two opened jars of peanut butter?

RIC: One is crunchy and one is smooth.


ME: We have canisters to store beans and rice. Why are there two open bags of each when the canisters are empty?

RIC: I couldn’t find the canisters, so I left it in the bag.


ME: Twice? For each? Why do we have two open bags of spaghetti noodles, when there is an almost empty canister for them?


RIC: Speaking of spaghetti . . .

ME: Open the wine.

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