Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession.
After gluing fake $20 bills to a g-string, I dressed a mannequin in that g-string and glued a wig to her head. I placed the mannequin upside down on a pole as if she were stripping. Then while my neighbor slept, I erected the pole in his front yard.
I will now go say five Hail Mary’s.