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Spanking the Monkey 2

Days One and Two of the Road Trip

Sock Monkey was tired when he woke on this morning because his friend MiscellAnnie had kept him up too late the night before. As always happened when he failed to get enough rest, Monkey was irritable and taking it out on his friends. When his guardian offered him a cup of coffee, he spat, “I told you last night that I wanted Starbucks this morning!” Despite this irritability, he did what needed to be done. He rose and loaded up the Nissan Armada that he had rented for the trip (all the while thinking about MiscellAnnie’s question to him, “Why didn’t you just take your truck?” “Because I am on vacation!” He had retorted).

Clearly, Sock Monkey was already being bratty before the trip had even begun and his guardians warned him to adjust his attitude.

After packing up the car, he insisted on driving (over his guardian’s vociferous objections.) It wasn’t until his guardian threatened to take away his toys that he finally relented and turned to the guardian’s companion and said, “Fine. You take the wheel.”

After a couple hours of driving, the trio stopped at “The Dutchman” in Hamilton, Texas - somewhere between Hico and Stephenville. (Yeah, yeah, I know you have no idea where that it is, but you got Google dontcha?) Whether it was the sign advertising the homemade fudge or something else that drew them to this spot, Sock Monkey didn’t know. But one thing he did know, was that it was fun to ride the buffalo outside until the owner finally came out and shooed him away.

They made a short stop in Stephenville to check out the beautiful Erath County Courthouse, the Rexall Drugstore, and then got back onto the road. But within the hour, Monkey began chittering into the companion’s ear.

“Feed me!” he said. “Feed me! Feed me! Feed me!” So, they had no choice but to stop at Joe T Garcia’s in Fort Worth for lunch where Monkey, after one (or three margaritas) accosted the poor waitress. His guardian was beside himself and apologized profusely for the bad monkey’s actions. Sometimes, his guardian wished that the monkey could hold his liquor.

They crossed the Red River and stopped at a rest area in Oklahoma where Monkey insisted on having his picture taken behind the iron bars in order to illustrate the plight of the Simian species. He was, after all, a fierce advocate for Simian kind.

Finally in OKC, they found the hotel (after making only one wrong turn - thank you bad GPS directions!) But, Monkey insisted on getting his own room. He was too “bougie” to share a room with Ric and Mario. Fortunately, the hotel was accommodating even though he yelled at the gal at the front desk. Obviously, the hotel trains its employees well on how to deal with spoiled guests.

From the window of his room, Sock Monkey saw the botanical gardens. He ran down to Ric and Mario’s room where he insisted that they take him there. Monkey was certain that he would find the flora and fauna of his ancestral homes. But, since he only knew the concrete jungle, he was confused by the mama duck and her ducklings. Then mistook the gardens for his natural habitat.

Because of Sock Monkey’s lack of respect for boundaries (first mauling the poor waitress at lunacy, then making a scene at the front desk, and finally walking through the gardens) Ric and Mario punished the bad monkey, by NOT taking him to dinner. Sock Monkey would have been very disappointed since the restaurant was just his type - very “bougie”; two servers and a trainee worked their table. Ric and Mario raised a glass in a toast to Sock Monkey. “Sorry,” they said, “you should have behaved. Bad actions have consequences.”

How were they to know that Sock Monkey had made plans of his own.

When they returned to the hotel, the front desk clerk insisted on speaking with them about Sock Monkey’s behavior. She took them up to Monkey’s room and they were surprised to find that Monkey had thrown wild party while they were at dinner. When they got to the hotel, they found empty bottles of liquor, a bra and panties, and half a bottle of extra-virgin olive oil. (What in the world was he doing with that?) They apologized profusely to the hotel and agreed to pay for the damages.

Before hitting the road this morning, they gave him a stern talking-to about the proper behavior for a young Simian. But did Sock Monkey listen to his guardians? No.

At the Kickapoo Casino, not only did he pick up a bad habit, but also a new girlfriend before he he was evicted by the management.

Thereafter, Ric and Mario made him wait in the car before they arrived at their hotel in the Ozarks where they promptly put him “hotel jail” to think about what he has done.

Who knows what further adventures await Sock Monkey?

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