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An Homage to Old PSAs

I

t’s a Dog’s Life . . .


ME: Stop humping your toys!

DOG: But it feels good.

ME: It’s nasty!

DOG: It’s perfectly natural.

ME: You are too young for that.

DOG: No, I am not.

ME: Where did you learn that behavior, anyway?

DOG: [Just looks at me.]

ME: Did Ozzy teach you that?

DOG: No.

ME: Did Bowie teach you that?

DOG: No.

ME: Was it Pepper?

DOG: No.

ME: Well, I know it wasn’t Ellie, or Foxy, or Charlie. Who taught you that? How did you learn to hump?

DOG: [Silence]

ME: Well?

DOG: [Cries out . . .] You alright! I learned it from watching you!

ME: Open the wine.


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