MARIO KIEFER

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! There is nothing new under the sun. #Outrage

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Why do they call it “life” insurance if they only pay out when you die? #Outrage

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Even when I am in a bad mood flowers still bloom. #Outrage

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! In the dark of night around 2:00 AM this last Sunday, a thief stole an hour from me! #Outrage

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Today they have entire shows dedicated to lip-syncing, but when Milli Vanilla did it people were...

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! I was born too young. #Outrage

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! I learned from a CNN commentator that women are passed their prime after fifty! #Outrage

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! My husband won’t let me spend Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend! #Outrage

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! My friend’s home is filled with rug rats. #Outrage

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! While everybody else is talking about their bucket lists, all I have is a f*ck-it list. #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! I couldn’t find baby formula at the store and now my baby won’t rise. #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Don’t tell me not to cry! Nobody knows where Johnny has gone and Judy left the same time. And why...

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! People say I got a drinking problem, but I got no problem drinking at all! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! I already broke my resolution not to make resolutions! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! My waistline is increasing at a rate greater than inflation! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! I went looking for Santa’s elves online, but all I found were Beelzebub’s trolls! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! My letter to Santa came back marked “Return to Sender.” #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Everybody has lost their minds but nobody is searching for them. #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! I asked for wild turkey for Thanksgiving but I got Buckhorn whiskey instead! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Somebody said “hello” to me. Don’t they realize that hello has the word “hell” in it? #OutrageTuesday