MARIO KIEFER

It’s 5:45 PM on a Friday and now your thing is urgent? #PetPeeves

Why is it that when I am looking for a Philips screwdriver I can only find flatheads? #PetPeeves

A business phone “AI” that says it can help "with anything" but when you ask to speak with a CSR the AI repeats it can help "with...

I literally just said what you are saying. #PetPeeves

You knew it was a holiday weekend, so why did you schedule only one cashier to man your fourteen registers? #PetPeeves

Why must you wait until I walk away then ask me to come back for something? #PetPeeves

Dear Golfers: That grove of trees between my back yard and the 16th hole is not a bathroom. #PetPeeves

Anyone under twenty-five. #PetPeeves

Why am I perpetually unsubscribing from things to which I never subscribed? #PetPeeves

Every time I see one of those “AITA” posts, without reading them I want to respond simply, “Yes.” #PetPeeves

COLLEGE STUDENT: What do you have to say to those people who are traumatized by your words? ME: Child, come back and talk to me when you...

No matter how closely you ride my ass, the speed limit doesn’t change because you are in a hurry. #PetPeeves

The speed limit is 55. Why are the two cars (one in each lane) ahead of me traveling at 35 when there are no other cars around? #PetPeeves

I am working. You have the week off. Why am I cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the dog? #PetPeeves

Elves. Need I say more? #PetPeeves

Speed limit signs in heavy congestion are just mocking you. #PetPeeves

Why does the Christmas decorations box labeled “Mantle” have the tree skirt and topper inside? #PetPeeves

Ten minutes of commercials for each twenty minutes of show. #PetPeeves

Dear Big Business, I thank you yet again for the umpteenth flyer in my mailbox begging me to switch to your service — even though we have...

You seem to think that “thank you” is a dirty word. You’re welcome nonetheless. #PetPeeves