MARIO KIEFER

If you cannot spell pneumonia, you won’t find it in the dictionary. #SundayTruth

While easy to be an adult, it's hard to be a grown-up, #SundayTruth

Nobody likes whine with dinner. #SundayTruth

The opposite of progress is Congress. #SundayTruth

No matter how much people deny it, everyone has at least once peed in a pool. #SundayTruth

I have never met anyone who is not open-minded — as long as you agree with them. #SundayTruth

Respect is not a one-way street. #SundayTruth

What people need is good, old-fashioned self-control. #SundayTruth

No amount of burnt sage will fix a broken home. #SundayTruth

If you love something, set it free. It never belonged to you in the first place. #SundayTruth

Alcohol is better than vinegar for getting pickled. #SundayTruth

I am not certain of much, but I am certain of this — only fools proclaim their certainty. #SundayTruth

Time waits for no man. But if a woman is getting ready for a party, it stands still. (If it knows what’s good for it, anyway.) #SundayTruth

Whatever one believes, we should believe that we can rise. #SundayTruth

No matter how much you get, it will never enough sleep. #SundayTruth

Hard candies are just a way of drinking flavored spit. #SundayTruth

Nobody is above reproach. #SundayTruth

If you have no regrets then you have never lived. #SundayTruth

Nothing in life is free. When people say that something is “free” what they mean is that it was paid for by someone else. #SundayTruth

Bacon is God’s way of saying, “I love you.” #SundayTruth