MARIO KIEFER

“Johnny, put down the video game and come to dinner, now!” “Five more minutes!” #PetPeeveThursday

I hate it when airlines say “pack your patience.” How am I supposed to get to it in the cargo hold? #PetPeeveThursday

People who tell me not to call them sir or ma’am. #PetPeeveThursday

When the heat must be on in the morning and the air conditioning in the afternoon. #PetPeeveThursday

The puppet theater of politics. #PetPeeveThursday

Having that brilliant idea but forgetting it before you have the chance to write it down. #PetPeeveThursday

No, no! That stop sign is NOT a suggestion. #PetPeeveThursday

Why does every clock in the house always have a different time? #PetPeeveThursday

There are ten hot dogs in a standard package. There are eight hot dog buns in a standard package. Just . . . Why??? #PetPeeveThursday

Dear Postman: Thank you for dropping off my neighbor’s medications. I walked them two blocks over to him. Do you think that you could...

I called my internet provider because the service was down. The recorded message referred me to their website. #PetPeeveThursday

Woke people talking in their sleep. #PetPeeveThursday

HOSTESS: It will be about a ten minute wait. Would you like to put your name on the list? ME: Yes, please. HOSTESS: Ok. What’s your name?...

Every day: Telephone rings, then from the machine I hear . . . Hola? Hola? Buenas Tardes? Hola? We don’t speak Spanish. No mas call here...

Nattering nabobs of narcissism. #PetPeeveThursday

Please don’t pet the peeves. #PetPeeveThursday

“Sorry. Not a Winner,” each and every week on my lottery ticket. #PetPeeveThursday

Every time I want to use a public restroom . . . someone is cleaning it. #PetPeeveThursday

Can I call Robocop on the Robocallers? #PetPeeveThursday

3:00 AM lying in bed staring at the ceiling unable to sleep 6:00 AM lyng in bed not wanting to rise to start the day. #PetPeeveThursday