MARIO KIEFER

Not having to be out of bed until six, but waking at five-forty needing to go to the bathroom. Do you go back to bed after relieving...

Being in the mood to argue with someone but finding that the internet is down. #PetPeeveThursday

Everything. #PetPeeveThursday

ME: I’m in the mood for ice cream. YOU: Ice cream is bad for you. You really shouldn’t eat it. ME: Thank you for your thoughts....

I don’t think that I can ever order pizza delivery again. I keep seeing these advertisements about contactless delivery due to COVID. In...

When people say, “Get woke!” I say, “Learn grammar.” #PetPeeveThursday

I went to a restaurant and when I bit down on the fork, its tines were crooked. #PetPeeveThursday

Every advertisement that says, “We’re in this together.” #PetPeeveThursday

If you rang the doorbell, you really don’t need to knock on the door, too. #PetPeeveThursday

If you need to take your pet chicken with you everywhere you go, you probably shouldn’t be going anywhere. #PetPeeveThursday

COWORKER: If you have to live in Texas, then the only good place to live is Austin. ME: Have you ever been to Texas? COWORKER: No....

All morning long your mouth has been salivating at the thought of eating those leftovers from the other night; the ones you had been...

I don’t have time for all of these impatient people! #PetPeeveThursday

Driving down a quiet, lonely road with no traffic until you reach the corner where the only other person in sight is crossing the street....

The clerk who cannot make change if the register doesn’t tell him how much to give back. #PetPeeveThursday

I keep seeing these memes on the internet that say nurses and doctors are heroes, grocery store clerks and truckers are heroes, people...

“I can’t tell you, but if you guess . . .” #PetPeeveThursday

When the meal option costs less than buying the sandwich and fries without the soda. #PetPeeveThursday

Don’t ask me what’s happening in the movie if you were too busy talking to watch. #PetPeeveThursday

When there is snow on the ground in Central Texas. #PetPeeveThursday