MARIO KIEFER

TEXT: Hi. This is Peter Politician and I really need your vote this November. If you believe, like I do then vote for me . . . Respond...

Calling your internet service provider because your internet is down and listening to the recording on the other end of the line suggest...

People who are STILL talking about masks. #PetPeeveThursday

To the woman who keeps calling and saying “hello” to my answering machine: If you leave a message, I might call you back. Then, again, I...

People who speak of themselves in the third person: Mario really hates that. #PetPeeveThursday

Waiting in line at the grocery store behind the woman who pulls out fifty coupons then rummages through her purse for exact change....

I needed to put that thing away in a safe location where I could always find it. It’s so safe now that even I don’t know where it is....

What good is a 3,000+ square foot house if you still can’t find a place to store your toilet paper? #PetPeeves

When the tracking for your delivery says it will arrive on Monday, so you run out for errands on Saturday and come back to a slip on your...

When that thing you ordered at the beginning of this pandemic finally arrives, but you disputed the charge three months ago....

When Jake from State Farm calls in the middle of the night and asks me what I’m wearing. #PetPeeveThursday

I never had any problem dialing out on my old rotary phone, but my “smart” phone drops calls all of the time. #PetPeeveThursday

Not having to be out of bed until six, but waking at five-forty needing to go to the bathroom. Do you go back to bed after relieving...

Being in the mood to argue with someone but finding that the internet is down. #PetPeeveThursday

Everything. #PetPeeveThursday

ME: I’m in the mood for ice cream. YOU: Ice cream is bad for you. You really shouldn’t eat it. ME: Thank you for your thoughts....

I don’t think that I can ever order pizza delivery again. I keep seeing these advertisements about contactless delivery due to COVID. In...

When people say, “Get woke!” I say, “Learn grammar.” #PetPeeveThursday

I went to a restaurant and when I bit down on the fork, its tines were crooked. #PetPeeveThursday

Every advertisement that says, “We’re in this together.” #PetPeeveThursday