MARIO KIEFER

To the person who has called four times in the last four hours: Thank you for assuring me that you are not as scam, but I remain perplexed as to how your “records show” that I owe a tax debt when those same “records” do not reflect who I am. Inquiring minds want to know. #PetPeeveThursday

When the cost of delivery is more than the cost of the goods. #PetPeeveThursday

Why make an appointment if you are still going to wait thirty minutes before being seen? #PetPeeveThursday

Dear Delivery Services: How many days in a row must I be confined to my house as I wait to sign for the package you promised would be delivered “today” before you actually deliver it? Three days? Five? #PetPeeveThursday

WHAT HE SAID: Hey Mario, With the current state of the economy you might want to consider alternative investment strategies. Thank you, John. WHAT SPEECH TO TEXT WROTE: Hay Martin Jello, witty Courant stay of the economy Yuma to consider alternating investigations scategories. Tanks to John. ME: Siri, am I being investigated by the Yuma authorities? #PetPeeveThursday

Does anyone really need to mow their lawn at 7:00 a.m.? #PetPeeveThursday

Please keep your children and pets indoors. Some of us are trying to sleep because we were up all night lighting fireworks. #PetPeeveThursday

Marking myself safe from marking myself safe. #PetPeeveThursday

BUSINESS: “A fifteen percent gratuity is mandatory and automatically added to the bill.” ME: “If it's mandatory, then it’s not a ‘gratuity’ is it?” #PetPeeveThursday

When someone says, “I will be there at four,” knowing they won’t. #PetPeeveThursday

Wanting to be mad rich, but only making it through the first part. #PetPeeveThursday

Dear Contractor: After five visits to “adjust” the repair you made, how many more do you think it will take before the item is finally “fixed”? #PetPeeveThursday

Dear Garbage Man: Each week, I duly place my trash bins outside to the right at the end of my driveway standing up on concrete. I even have them professionally cleaned every other month. Yet, each week after you have emptied them, you cavalierly toss them on their side in the middle of my driveway. Have I done something to offend you? #PetPeeveThursday

If you say “heard” to me, I won’t hear you. #PetPeeveThursday

If you must call me, please text to let me know you are going to call. #PetPeeveThursday

The speed limit is thirty. I am driving thirty-two. Get off my behind. #PetPeeveThursday

If you do not use your turn signal, how do you signal your intention to turn? #PetPeeveThursday

Too much trash, not enough can. #PetPeeveThursday

Thank you for the unsolicited advice. #PetPeeveThursday

Checking your work email in the morning and receiving four “urgent” messages each asking for something “first thing in the morning” from the same person. Dear Sender: They can’t all be “first’. Something must go second, third, and fourth. #PetPeeveThursday