MARIO KIEFER

There are ten hot dogs in a standard package. There are eight hot dog buns in a standard package. Just . . . Why??? #PetPeeveThursday

Dear Postman: Thank you for dropping off my neighbor’s medications. I walked them two blocks over to him. Do you think that you could bring my mail now? #PetPeeveThursday

I called my internet provider because the service was down. The recorded message referred me to their website. #PetPeeveThursday

Woke people talking in their sleep. #PetPeeveThursday

HOSTESS: It will be about a ten minute wait. Would you like to put your name on the list? ME: Yes, please. HOSTESS: Ok. What’s your name? ME: Mr. Kiefer HOSTESS: And your first name? ME: Mister #PetPeeveThursday

Every day: Telephone rings, then from the machine I hear . . . Hola? Hola? Buenas Tardes? Hola? We don’t speak Spanish. No mas call here ok! #PetPeeveThursday

Nattering nabobs of narcissism. #PetPeeveThursday

Please don’t pet the peeves. #PetPeeveThursday

“Sorry. Not a Winner,” each and every week on my lottery ticket. #PetPeeveThursday

Every time I want to use a public restroom . . . someone is cleaning it. #PetPeeveThursday

Can I call Robocop on the Robocallers? #PetPeeveThursday

3:00 AM lying in bed staring at the ceiling unable to sleep 6:00 AM lyng in bed not wanting to rise to start the day. #PetPeeveThursday

A crowded morning at the store and one of the fifteen cash registers open. #PetPeeveThursday

At the store: ME: Can I come in? CLERK: We don’t open until 9:00. ME: It’s 8:59. #PetPeeveThursday

Whatever happened to “please” and “thank you”? #PetPeeveThursday

Oh, look! More rain. #PetPeeveThursday

I really don’t care if you wear a mask or not, but, for God’s sake, pull your pants up. Nobody wants to see your crack. #PetPeeveThursday

Children. #PetPeeveThursday

Taking two showers, changing clothing three times, and still feeling that itch after your haircut. #PetPeeveThursday

I see the mailman drive up to my front door to leave a package that is too large for the mailbox. I open the door and greet him. He hands me the package. I go inside and watch him drive back to the mailbox and place the rest of mail inside it. #PetPeeveThursday