MARIO KIEFER

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective Immediately Doctors have diagnosed a single case of the cooties in America. Given how easily this...

. . . and this is why I drink RIC: It’s Sunday! ME: And? RIC: Do I have to say it? You know how it ends. ME: Open the wine.

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective 12:01 A.M. 08/15/2021 Public Heath hereby orders that you voluntarily do what you are ordered to do....

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective 08/10/2021 In order to mitigate the effects of the Delta variant, Public Health orders that we return...

. . . and this is why I drink: Week One MON: Work TUE: Work WED: Work THU: Work FRI: Work, Dinner Out SAT: Write, lunch, pool, tv SUN:...

I am not usually a supporter of cruel and unusual punishments, but in this case, I will make an exception for the inventor of this....

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective August 8, 2021 Whereas, Janis Joplin once famously sang that freedom is just another word for nothing...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective 08/07/2021 After 18 months of intensive study by a panel of independent, non-partisan experts, Public...

Pray for your friends who work. It’s Tuesday, and We are frustrated, and We are tired.

RIC: I hate Sundays. ME: Why? RIC: Because that means I have to go to work tomorrow. ME: But at least you still have this day. RIC: There...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective 12:01 PM July 31, 2021 The vaccine will protect you from infection with the virus, but mask up...

DAD: Are you ready for graduation? KID: Well, I need $100. DAD: [opens wallet] Here’s a $100. Go get your cap and gown. One month later:...

RANDOM PERSON: I do not like what you wrote. ME: I’m only trying to get people to think. RANDOM PERSON: But you are making them think...

RIC: It’s Sunday Funday! When are you going to make the spaghetti? ME: It’s 3 AM.

In the late 1980’s, many muslims were offended by Salman’s Rushdie’s book (”Satanic Verses”) and accused the author of not adhering to...

Throughout history, mankind has survived far worse pandemics than COVID-19 and, yet, here we are. So, I am not worried that COVID may...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective Immediately Social Media platforms must now tag EVERYTHING with the "Visit the COVID-19 Information...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective Immediately It is imperative that everyone wear a mask and get vaccinated to protect the vaccinated...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective May 1, 2021. Despite the prevalence of vaccines, Public Health has determined that the threat of...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective retroactively to 1/1/1999 Yesterday Public Health issued new mask guidelines to clear up confusion...