MARIO KIEFER

Effective 09/10/2021 BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH . . . We no longer require your cooperation.

When the emperor spoke, he mumbled His thoughts were ever so jumbled. Questions refused And answers confused The Goddess of Liberty...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective @ Noon on 09/01/2021 Whereas humor is offensive to those who cannot laugh at themselves; Whereas...

The emperor issued his plea, To the terrorists he said, “We will flee” My subjects alarmed Please bring them no harm And fealty I’ll...

Forgotten and abandoned After the planes have landed Nobody will mind All those left behind As long as we don’t call them “stranded.”...

Despite what some think All the pomp and circumstance Doesn’t change the stink. #HaikuWednesday

When the problem is not very little It can be solved if we meet in the middle But each side takes its turn As our cities do burn And the...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective 12:01 A.M. 08/15/2021 Public Heath hereby orders that you voluntarily do what you are ordered to do....

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective 08/10/2021 In order to mitigate the effects of the Delta variant, Public Health orders that we return...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective August 8, 2021 Whereas, Janis Joplin once famously sang that freedom is just another word for nothing...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective 08/07/2021 After 18 months of intensive study by a panel of independent, non-partisan experts, Public...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective 12:01 PM July 31, 2021 The vaccine will protect you from infection with the virus, but mask up...

DAD: Are you ready for graduation? KID: Well, I need $100. DAD: [opens wallet] Here’s a $100. Go get your cap and gown. One month later:...

RANDOM PERSON: I do not like what you wrote. ME: I’m only trying to get people to think. RANDOM PERSON: But you are making them think...

In the late 1980’s, many muslims were offended by Salman’s Rushdie’s book (”Satanic Verses”) and accused the author of not adhering to...

Throughout history, mankind has survived far worse pandemics than COVID-19 and, yet, here we are. So, I am not worried that COVID may...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective Immediately Social Media platforms must now tag EVERYTHING with the "Visit the COVID-19 Information...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective Immediately It is imperative that everyone wear a mask and get vaccinated to protect the vaccinated...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective May 1, 2021. Despite the prevalence of vaccines, Public Health has determined that the threat of...

BY ORDER OF PUBLIC HEALTH Effective retroactively to 1/1/1999 Yesterday Public Health issued new mask guidelines to clear up confusion...