MARIO KIEFER

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . ME: [Talking to Dog] Here’s what I don’t understand. If I let you, you will eat leaves. You will eat sticks. You...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . [I hears voices from the other room even though I am alone in the house.] ME: What the . . . [I get up and walk...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . DOG: [Middle of the night.] Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! ME: [Rousing from a sound sleep] What are you barking at?...

DOG: Hey. Hey. Hey. ME: I’m busy. What do you need? DOG: Let’s go outside and play. ME: Go by yourself. I’m busy. DOG: Hey. Hey. Hey. ME:...

I t’s a Dog’s Life . . . ME: Stop humping your toys! DOG: But it feels good. ME: It’s nasty! DOG: It’s perfectly natural. ME: You are too...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . DOG: [With nose under edge of sofa] Aaarf. Whine. Whimper. ME: What’s up? What’s wrong? DOG: My toy is under the...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . ME: Why aren’t you eating your breakfast? DOG: I’m not ready. ME: What do you mean you are not ready? DOG: I will...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . ME: Dog! Get in here! DOG: What you call me for? ME: You got into the tissues again. DOG: So. ME: Tissues are NOT...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . DOG: I don’t want that toy. Gimme another one. ME: Ok. Here you go. DOG: I don’t want that one either. Gimme a...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . DOG: Can I sleep in the bed? ME: No. DOG: Why not? ME: You always jump around. You don’t let me rest. DOG: I...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . DOG: [Jumps on me.] Gimme a treat ME: No. DOG: [Wants Out. Wants in. Wants Out. Wants in. Wants Out. Wants in.]...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . DOG: “No” must be your favorite word. ME: Why do you say that? DOG: Because you say it all of the time. ME: Well,...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . ME: Its bath day! DOG: Why do I have to take a bath? ME: Because you stink. DOG: I like how I smell. ME: Well,...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . DOG: Gimme a treat. ME: No. You already had one. DOG: Gimme a treat. ME: No. You’ve had too many. DOG: Gimme a...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . DOG: Play with me. ME: I am trying to work. DOG: Play with me. ME: I am trying to work. DOG: Play with me. ME: I...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . ME: Why are you looking at me that way? DOG: Because you’re a mean daddy. ME: How was I mean? DOG: You took me to...

It’s a Dog’s Life . . . DOG: Look at me! Look at me! ME: I see you. DOG: Look at me! Look at me! ME: I see you. DOG: Look at me! Look at...

DAWG: Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. ME: I’m coming. DAWG: Look, I’m squatting. ME: Dawg - No! I’m coming. [Pawing at the door] DAWG: You better...